Guest blog post by Robyn Moore
Buddha says that desire is the root of all suffering. The initial response to that may be “no, absolutely not- there is grief and pain and loss, etc”. However, if you look deeper, all of these involve a desire for something in our lives to be different from what our current reality tells us they are. Ergo, suffering.
Reading back on this post over 5 years later brings to mind two things- nothing changes and yet everything does. Mommas, I have a secret to tell you. You are enough. Gloriously, wonderfully, amazingly enough. It is all we need to be. In this moment, you have and are everything you need. We are by design, enough.
Enough is Enough
Original Post Date: TUESDAY, DECEMBER 11, 2007
I have some confessions to make. My blog posts aren’t creative enough. I do not post enough. I am not patient enough with my son. My house is not clean enough or decorated enough for the holidays. The meals I cook are not exciting enough. I do not walk my dogs enough. I do not call my friends or family enough. When they call me, I do not call them back quick enough. I do not practice yoga enough. I do not meditate near enough. I do not contribute enough- to my relationships, my household, our finances. I do not play with my son enough. I do not give in enough. I do not sleep enough. I do not read enough or journal enough.
Enough. Really, enough already.
Who is setting these expectations? Although, I suspect I am not drowning alone in my sea of inadequacies, I am pretty sure they are self imposed. Why is it we are always striving for something so far out of reach? Why is “what is” never good enough? My husband has this thing he says when things don’t necessarily go as planned- “it is what it is”. I typically get really angry when he says this- things should be different! I am fairly certain he is not coming from a place of zen acceptance (or maybe he is and I am short changing him as well) but he is right. Once we can acknowledge our circumstances for what they are we can stop spending so much time agonizing over why they should be different, especially in matters of self acceptance.
I am certainly not suggesting that we close ourselves off to opportunities for growth. In fact, I believe that acceptance lends itself to growth because it allows us to be truly present and aware of who we are at our cores. But spending time worrying about “not being enough” is really just ruminating over the past and the only power we have over the past is the ability it has to impact our present . Instead of thinking “I always yell at my son” rephrase it to “I have yelled at my son… in the past”. This gives us the power to make a change if we feel it is appropriate, instead of defining the future by choices we have previously made. How about “it was what it was”?
I am off to practice what I preach. I don’t do that enough.
Enough is Enough Revisited was first posted on January 10, 2016 at 9:00 am.
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